User blog:SteveBobMinecraftPants/Snow Place to Cold
(Snow Place to Go is the original name, having cold makes sense...) Plot: Berty captains a ship that Rolf, Dogert, Tinky, Stevie, and Sanna party and relax on. The ship comes to a sudden stop, as they are now surrounded by ice in an Arctic climate. Berty to everybody's awe, fires off a signal flare. Unfortunately the flare lands in the ship, setting it ablaze and making everybody jump ship. Later at night, when the ship has burnt completely, the group searches through survival boxes for supplies. None of the boxes seem to hold anything helpful, until Sanna comes upon a can of beans. She tells everyone of what she has found, but before she can bring it over to them, the burnt mast falls over and crushes her. The others huddle around a small fire, freezing and starving. They spot the can of beans in the dead Sannas' hands, and, deciding he's the least likely to refuse, push Tinky forward to grab them. Tinky begins panicking when Sannas' hand breaks off but he quickly grabs them and tosses the can to Dogert. He tries opening the can by biting it, but he only succeeds in chipping one of his buck teeth. While Dogert screams in pain, Berty takes an electric can opener out of one of the boxes. They put the can in, but nothing happens. Realizing it needs to be plugged in, Berty sets out to find an electrical socket. (Really? Rolf or Dogert could have that right?) More time passes and as Rolf's tummy rumbles, he spots a fishing pole near one of the crates. Meanwhile, Dogert prepares to eat snow, trying to convince himself it will taste good. Upon biting into it, however, the exposed nerves of his teeth are irritated by the temperature of the snow and he screams in pain again. Stevie watches his friend sadly, but perks up when he finds a small saw in one of the crates. He cuts a circle in the ice and tosses the saw away, almost hitting Dogert with it. Dogert walks over as Stevie sticks the top part of his body into the hole in an effort to catch fish. Dogert gets concerned when Stevie doesn't come up after a while. He pulls Stevie out of the water, only to find that the top half of his body has been eaten. He screams in terror, sees the eye of an orca in the hole in the ice, and runs away screaming. Rolf, not minding Dogert's fright, attempts to land his fishing line in the hole in the ice. Tinky, who stands nearby, has begun to go crazy from their situation, singing a lullaby to a garden gnome he found in one of the crates. Rolf fails several times at getting the hook in the hole, so he throws the pole back hard to get more power in his cast. The hook, however, gets caught on Dogert's wrist and as Rolf tries to cast the line, Dogert's veins and arteries are pulled out of his body. Tinky sees Dogert's body and backs away in fear, slipping on the ice and falling on his back. His wings remain erect as he falls and become stuck to the ice. The gnome he was carrying falls into the ice and causes it to begin cracking, splitting the ground into numerous small chunks of ice, most of which quickly sink into the water. The chunk of ice Tinky is stuck to turns over a few times, dunking him in the water and then reexposing him to the air. At one point, however, only his wings come up as a pool of blood forms under the ice. Rolf, seeing the orca's fin in the water, begins panicking and tries to row away on his chunk of ice using a spatula. His ice begins melting until he can only use one of his legs to stand above the water. He prays for safety and when he opens his eyes, he discovers he's made it to a desert island. As he cheers his good fortune, the orca suddenly pops out of the water, bites him in half, and sucks him into it mouth by his intestines a la a piece of spaghetti. A chunk of ice floats up to the island, holding the electric can opener from earlier. It suddenly activates, indicating Berty was able to make it back to civilization. Moral: "A Friend-Ship Never Sinks" Category:Blog posts